Realest Sh*t I Ever Wrote

100th Post
"I aint aim for a number/I just came in the winter and blazed through the summer tryin to stake my claim..."

My voice, my name-changed and developed through this here beautiful blog experience. Better than boot camp or any scholastic course; I got busy while Spanking Your Kids. Entries ranged from current events to history, comedy, politics, the arts and my personal journey. I started as a bored intern in the Time Inc. system and dove into the blogosphere blind and ambitious. A few posts (100) and many months later (10) I got a resume that breezes through many of the top mags in NYC and a portfolio that kicks ass (check brandon in the blogosphere). In 2006, I dropped the street mixtape "Prince of the Plains" that has circulated throughout New York to Chicago, Washington D.C., Philadelphia and Los Angeles (check chapel in the blogosphere). I've been in love (punk), built relationships and ethered others. Two-stepping to the tune of Myspace, I smashed a few goals and fell way short and flat on others. Months ago, I got hired full-time at everyone's favorite magazine; the dopest rap mag in the world. Hip-Hop on a higher level beeeaaaiiitch! If you don't know you should be stoned. Reminiscing on numerous intellectual rants, I realized that my boss was the 1st to ever really blog in his editorial. Wow! Basically, I been there-done that like a Dre Aftermath album (good amount of chronic/haze/piff was blown in '06 also) and it's only just begun... Sheeeiiiit, as I leave you I know I got work to do. My blog hand was grown weak from idle masturbation (Xbox & Colt 45) and I've fallen off (been struggling for my 2nd wind). No vacations or sick days, it's time to "take it to the next level" as the big homie Chap says. Inspiration is needed as sadly bid you ado. On a holiday at that! Today I plan on stuffing my face with turkey, cranberries, collards, sweet potatoes, macaroni, pies, ice cream....chill, I feel the itis coming; getting twisted just enough to maintain as the designated driver and soaking it up with the fam. I got a stack of magazines to study. Got EIC's to impress, son! My words gotta flow and my rep's gotta grow. I'm the best in this bitch, it's just that not too many folks really know it, or even care...yet. But it soon come my yute, it soon come. I laced ya'll with minimal spell checks, crazy stories and top ten lists. Finally, let me get off my own d*ck and bless ya'll wit' the lyrical gift. On Hov's return and as Kingdom Came, I retire.


Can I go in? Go in god, go in.

First off, I'm boycotting Seinfeld. Yeah I know, it's hard. Wu-Tang Clan, Ben and Jerry's, New Era fitteds, Kung Fu flicks, Nike Dunks and George, Elaine, Jerry and...Kramer the Bigot. I'm telling you, everybody got a little prejudice in 'em and dude was prolly high as all hell but nooooooooooooooo. You fucked up dude. They went easy on him at the laugh factory and he performed the next night without apology. Jerry coaxed him into the bullshit ass apology on Letterman to help sell holiday dvds and now there's a clip of him in black face from back in the day that's surfaced... I would've threw my drink at him, then waited in the parking lot. What happened to the mandatory ass whoopin'? No more Seinfeld for me, I'm done.

What happened Jay? I've been listening to Kingdom Come, a track a day for like the last month. "Show Me What You Got" cool party record, "Kingdom Come" cool concept record, "Lost Ones" cool emotional record. But it aint been the same Jay for a minute... Too much hype? Too much eye-opening experience on the world trek? Too much money (never)? Or has the King of this rap shit, who fathered everyone's style, (rap and beyond) exhausted his mojo? Black Album was the perfect ending to a superb run of amazingly successful albums, (8 albums-8 consecutive years-30+ million sold) beefs, verses, songs and entrepeneurship. But I guess, it's kind of obvious that...Roc-A-Fella, has always really been about Jay. No? Yes. No matter how much he sells, the legacy is tarnished; a la MJ/Washington. The album gets an L, like Vol.1 and Blueprint 2. The Roc breakup- sad/unfortunate but real industry business. Jay lyrics...ugh-decent. Diplomat beef drama, not sure if the big homey can keep up... I'm proud of dude for using his powerful position to become a humanitarian and show some concern for the rest of the world- Africa Water for life. And...That's it. I'm ready to split.

What more can I say...

Chap

p.s.

isolation/uncertainty is never bad- fearlessness is necessary- have your own opinion on music/life

don't talk about it, be about it- have not faith in man/woman- don't be surprised by shit/there's nothing new under the sun.......

God is love

Optimistic/Realistic Fan

*Disclaimer; Some may know that I am a really big Football and Basketball fan, even though it is not reflected in the majority of my posts. Without further ado, my journey with the New York Knicks continues...

The Knicks have a two game win streak, are 3-3 on the road and I'm happy. Unfortunately I missed the game where New York's bench scorched the Washington Wizards and broke away by twenty points. Last night the Knicks played the NBA defending champions, Miami Heat (Shaq injured) and just ran all over 'em. M.I.Ayo wasn't prepared for good defense and a 50% field goal percentage (don't quote me) from New York. My Knicks actually played smart, were hungry, patient and aggressive. They dominated Pat Riley and the lukewarm Heat. I was standing on the couch, hype and proud to finally see my team perform exceptionally well against a contender. I'm starting to like the young squad, they rubbin' off and I'm hoping that the former Starbury and ex-Franchise can contribute in some form of leadership and vet experience. For ya'll that don't know, I'll list the New York Knick's '06-'07 roster under coach Isaiah Thomas. The best is still ahead..

32 Renaldo Balkman F South Carolina
26 Kelvin Cato C Iowa State
25 Mardy Collins G Temple
11 Jamal Crawford G Michigan
34 Eddy Curry C Thornwood HS (IL)
1 Steve Francis G Maryland
7 Channing Frye F Arizona
13 Jerome James C Florida A&M
20 Jared Jeffries F Indiana
42 David Lee F Florida
3 Stephon Marbury G Georgia Tech
23 Quentin Richardson F-G DePaul
4 Nate Robinson G Washington
31 Malik Rose F Drexel

NY Soapbox

The New York Knicks are pathetic. Let me make this clear; the only reason I can speak like this or go in on the following post is because I'm a die hard Knicks fan. I aint like Rainman or nothing; quoting stats, knowing every Knicks player in history and the win/loss column for the past 30 seasons. Nah, I'm just a fan, been one for a good 15 years now and with that said, I'm always on the edge. My beloved Knickerbockers; once the most respected, are now an expensive laughing stock, in the red. [This post may lack focus and just be a huge ramble—but fuck it] I need to get this out of my system; loving the Knicks is being one step away from a heart attack every game. Maybe that's how New Yorkers are or maybe it's just me, but the Knicks have and always will drive me crazy. We're owed a championship. Patrick should have brought us a ring on two occasions. My city has been jipped, jerked and is constantly left feeling stressed out. It all stems from ownership and management. You can't blame the coaches or even the players. [Of course you can, 1st game of the season and everyone is fat and hung over, good job on honor and preparation] No one knows what the hell they're doing. We're stupid with money, 50/50 with draft picks, trades and signing free agents. That being said, at this point we don't deserve shit. We need to hire some old basketball genius who sits on the computer all day analyzing the game/industry, scouting talent and strategy or some child prodigy/wizard to call the shots for us because obviously what we're doing is not working.

Maybe Isiah can relate to the players; him being a cool brother from the streets, snazzy dresser and NBA Hall of famer, but I doubt he's all that good of a coach. Not saying he's bad, but from what I've seen, not all that [we'll give him a chance and adequate time]. David Lee did his thing last night. I'm actually very impressed by him. Ed Curry stepped up and finally showed something. The gaurds did pretty good... -sigh- Everytime I see Stephon Marbury, I just get a little depressed. Wtf happened? Him and AI were the young assasins and he just seems like a shell of his former self- BE THE LEADER. It's too late for me to criticize the roster but damn... Where in the world is our composure? We're up by 19 in the 4th and fall apart, like always! Dammit! This is how we start off the season? Three overtimes! We couldn't put the Grizzilies out of their misery and they didn't even have their star player (Gasol) and Mighty Mouse (Stoudemire) was hurt. I flip to ESPN and check the Wizards vs. Cavs game— we're so far from even competing with them. Playoffs??? Playoffs????! Why all the stupid fouls, like 100 offensive fouls. Why all the stupid/half assed, quick draw shots? Where is the ball movement, executed plays, team unity and position? Why all the turnovers fellas? 3 technical fouls? I hope you are all embarrassed. We gotta do better. And the refs weren't all that... when are they ever on point? But you can't blame them for shitty gameplay, rule #1. I had like three heart attacks last night. I refused to watch last season. And last night I realized why. The Knicks are my team. I will stick with them. But if I end up in my grave early, you'll know why.

Sorry, I'm a Champion

Mood; Chillin Music: Kurupt, Streets iz a mutha, hoes a housewife Morning Madness Methodical Manic Making Moves

Damn it's been a minute...
They like, man— "B frontin, he neglectful, now he on some high holy church tip, now he flippin Coldplay verses and shit"
Nah dunny, Lord knows I'm a diverse and eclectic individual, never question my hood cred or gangsta
nothing 'licous ova here kid.
But on the reals—shit is fast paced lately, living and learning, running and ripping, laughing and crying
Myspace has officially snatched my attention and I'm just about through
I feel like my reign over here is coming to a close and the kids are growing up
Can't really spank forever
But until then I'ma have some fun...

Damn—what did we miss?

Jay-Z officially returning to the rap game as an artist. I've heard three songs and an interview: Lost Ones, Kingdom Come, Show me what you got
I like all three
The thing about Shawn Carter is; he's so dope, has set so many trends and made classic songs and albums that you can only compare him... to him.
Reasonable Doubt vs. Vol 2 vs. Blueprint vs. Black album, shit like that. You compare the storytelling to the flows to the punchlines to the attitude to the production, basically. I'm looking forward to his album. It's good for Hip-Hop. We need event albums and soulful music. Let's hope the big homey can come through.

After owing staff and writers millions, having a regime change and filing for bankruptcy earlier this year, The Source loses a court judgement and is ordered to pay (alongside Benzino and Dave Mays) 14.5 million to Kim Osario for sexual harrassment and wrongful termination. I don't know this chic or Dave or Zino, I've heard bad about all of them 2nd hand. Shit. As long as they pay me what they owe. That's that.

Can I stack my cheddar please? Can I get that savings account correct, CD's poppin, checking account efficient, trust funds and stocks flowing, while all the while staying on top of monthly bills and debt..
Oh yes we prepping for '07! I aint playing, even if it's tomato soup and grilled cheese we gonna take it to the top baby. Next stop-> dope spot (apartment for all you manic hustlers)

The Job is cool- staff is cool- money is aiight- paying dues and staying on my toes, learning and making myself useful. I love what I do and I feel important and respected, even at the ground level of the totem pole. Before you know it, i'll be looking down and laughing- uncontrollably, hopefully i'll have a safe or two by then.

Oh yea, I saw The Last King of Scotland last weekend wit my man Forest Whitaker- he did his thing. You know i'm maad militant when it comes to movies, media, history, government—just everything. It's all one huge conspiracy dammit! But the movie was cool, worth paying your duckets for..

I gotta get back to the task at hand
I holla

Lost Ones...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love some one but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.


coldplay/fix you

Notes from Bible study

Pastor Moore of AME


Matthew 12:41 Acts 2:35

Don't quit or become discouraged
God gets you ready to recieve

Servants
Jesus chose us, it's not about me
Stop looking, give God the glory, King of Kings

Get your house in order, preparing the way
Our lives are supposed to be the King's highway
Be the best- clean up
God's love is powerful, go outside of his will and experience wrath

Feel sorry for enemies
Threshing floor experience- who's serious?
Get rid of chaff in your life
God is workig something awesome ni the midts of struggle

In it for the long haul- going gets tough
Jordan= place of transition
Israel= dimension of promise

Step into life- walk on your path, victory in step!
Claim what's yours
Ignorance is dealdy/dangerous
Well informed of what God has for you
Maximize potential
More than conquerers- overcomer

Don't live under
Lift up Jesus
ministry= service
Taste death or be called up
Glory of God= his presence
Death= separation
Thrive- Grow up don't give up

Live in the promise of God
"What are doing now? How are you living?"
You love the Lord, show me
Mature= Do something = Responsibility

Feeling better than I ever felt before today...

BUT BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.


"There is always a moment in one's life, when they begin to own their size. When you begin taking responsibility for your opportunities, admitting the depth of your ambition, coming into a stage of mastery."

Ed Zwick

Maybe because I'm Black

I commute. This transforms the average 40 hour work week to 50, give or take 60 hours total. Cool, no biggie, i'm a hustler that's about my paper and advancement, no matter the expense. It's whack if you're running late to work or if you want to hang out after hours for a drink or two and kick it. And I got a few hills that equal 15-20 minutes of walk time from my pad to the station. When you're tired from work, feet hurt, or you've had a few drinks, walking home at midnight isn't your 1st option.

Hatian brothers run the cab service at the WP train station. There are usually a good 10-15 drivers in their mid-thirties, waiting with cars running. But damn, not in Manhattan, not Middle Easterners, but Westchester County Hatian brothers enact the Danny Glover syndrome. I can't get a ride home for shit. I've gotten a few here and there, I don't live far and I usually tip. But the majority of the time, before I even get out where I'm going it's "No, next driver." But before the white commuters even make it down the stairs, the cabbies are clamoring all over them and basically begging for their patronage. What part of the fucking game is that? There will be available seats and all of that, me and a passenger could be going in the same direction... "No, next driver." It doesn't matter if I have on a business suit or a white tee, the shit is ridiculous, painful and embarrasing. The white passengers just smile and relax like, "We run shit boy, now git!" I flipped on the Hatian cabbies a few times, especially when I was turned down with no umbrella, hat or coat in the dead of winter amongst pouring rain. I took the long walk many a time.

I was rushing to work one day and I had an interview. Suited and booted, driving around looking for a parking spot and feeling assed out. The train station has parking but before 10am, you have to have a pass. Two year waiting list to get a pass. I'm like "damn!" so I call my stepdad and he puts me onto this public parking lot that offers the daily fee. Great! I don't have much, but this is a safe bet and in close proximity to my train that approaches in the next few. A tall coffee complexioned man, around 60's or 70's approaches me. "It's $5 for the day." I'm like cool, the public lot is a huge safety net and my ass was free-falling. I ask the brother his name. Jean. He's not surly, just senior and preoccupied with the steady stream of cars filing in to be bothered with conversation. But I guess I caught him off gaurd... "What's your name... really? That's my grandson's name... Hmmm." I paid and went on my way. Next time I came through (on some emergency tip again-never learn) we chatted for awhile and I made sure to be extra cool. I respect my elders and he seemed like a good dude. The brief interaction held a few laughs and I explained who I was and what I'm about. From then on, Brother Jean never took a dime from me. At first I was taken aback. I don't use folk and favors often come with strings, but Jean was straight up and down. He traveled from Haiti, fought in the war and put two kids through college. Worked this here lot for damn near 35 years, commuting from the city. Dude really looks out for me and treats me like a son. I always make sure to say good morning, stop by, see how he's feeling and doing in life. He makes sure I stay on the right track. Jean breaks down the racism that goes along with his day-to-day and says he doesn't like to see the white man's foot on the black man's neck. It's rough, so he tries to look out for his people. I hear you brah! Thank you cards, cold drinks when the temp rises, breakfast, solid company, kind words of appreciation and some chips/gift certificate/something (when the bread is right) is what I pass on. The wisdom and love from an elder is priceless.